journal

Still Decompressing

I was up early this morning and out the door about an hour later. I went to get mom yogurt and bananas, her usual breakfast. We were out. When I got home I barely spoke to mom. She noticed and asked if I was mad at her. The truth was, I wasn’t. I’m not. I’m …

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I have lost my patience

Good god this woman is worse than a fucking teenager. It started this morning. I got her up so we could go to the pool for an exercise class in the water. “I’m achy. I don’t feel good.” I tried to convince her to go, but then quickly gave up. I’m not going to force …

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Mass Confusion

I’m super tired so I’m going to make this quick. She’s particularly loony of late. She thinks I’m my sister. She doesn’t call me by her name, nor my name either for that matter. But she complimented me on how I’ve really gotten to know my way around town, as if I’ve lived here most …

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A quick note about bedtime

Before mom goes to bed she often makes comments that allude to her not knowing where she is and/or thinking she’s not at home. Like tonight. Tonight she says, “I’ve just got to figure out where my bedroom is. I’ve been in and out of so many bedrooms lately I can’t keep them all straight.” …

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Managing Medications

I remember once telling a friend that if I ever had to start managing mom’s medications then I’d know things were bad. To me, mom not being able to pour her pills meant her mind had deteriorated enough that she’d lost a skill she should be able to do without thinking. She was a nurse. …

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Sundowning Sunday

Lest we believe that eliminating Diet Coke has cured her of her dementia, I bring you tonight’s sundowning moment: “Even though this doesn’t feel like home I guess we’ve been here for a while.” Which was immediately followed by, “I guess we just got here.” Of course we were at home in the house she’s …

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Diet Coke is Out

This isn’t to disparage Diet Coke. I’m not telling anyone to not drink Diet Coke. I was a hard core addict for decades. I get the attraction. But for mom…It’s out.It’s been a few days or a week since her last Diet Coke. She’d been drinking quite a few small bottles everyday. She’d also been …

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Experimenting with pop

Mom’s memory has been especially bad of late. Yesterday I ventured an idea–“You know, I’ve noticed that when you drink a lot of Diet Coke your memory is worse. You’ve been drinking a lot of Diet Coke lately.”Mom took this idea better than expected, so I took it a step further.“Maybe you take a break …

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A very confused day

It’s afternoon, pre nap, and mom wants instruction on what to do. I’m still cleaning up from lunch so I suggest she get her laundry started while I’m loading the dishwasher. Laundry is one of the few chores she’s still able to do. Or so I thought. Mom gathers up some clothes, brings them into …

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