May 29, 2020

Today mom helped me clean the fence around the deck. She worked hard and was a big help. I noticed that anytime I said, “you do that part and I’ll do this part” she readily agreed and then did something else entirely. Seems she doesn’t like being told what to do. Hmmm… think that runs in the family?
We had a deluge of rain in the afternoon which tripped the pool filter and knocked out the power to the family room. I figured out how to get it back on, but in the process of deduction I pressed the fuse box switches multiple times– including the one to the stove. Now the stove doesn’t work. Mom was a good sport about it, and suggested we order in for dinner even though we ordered in last night.
She’s become quite the nag. I suspect she doesn’t realize she’s nagging me, but it still tries my patience. There isn’t much she can do around the house, especially in the yard, mostly because she’s unstable on her feet and she has lost most of her strength. That means I do everything. Which is fine; that’s what I’m here for. But I can only do one thing at a time. I’m working on some project or other while she’s sitting and pointing out all the things that need done. I KNOW, I KNOW, GEEZ, GIVE ME A MINUTE, WILL YA? I got grumpy about it this afternoon and complained that she was nagging. Sometimes I lose my cool and treat her as if she doesn’t have dementia, all the while my mind is poking me saying, “she doesn’t remember, dumbass, she doesn’t know she’s nagging so shut the fuck up.” Yet there I go, complaining to her that she’s nagging and that I can only do one thing at a time. I need to work harder at keeping my mouth shut. It’s hard.

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