March 22, 2020

A long overdue update.
We’ve been self-isolating, mostly, for a week now. I won’t let mom go in the grocery store with me, but I let her ride along. She wants to get out of the house, and I don’t blame her. We both wash our hands when we get back to the house, even though she never leaves the car. We walk the dog, too, though the only person we ever see is the mail carrier.
My anxiety rises every day, and has doubled in size the last few days. We’re fine. We both feel fine. But I allowed my nephew and his girlfriend to visit four days ago. They live halfway across the country and we haven’t seen him in three years. How could I turn them away? It was wonderful to see him, meet his girlfriend, and spend time with them both. We both really enjoyed the visit. But I have been wondering since and have had a few sleepless nights wondering if I let the virus in this house. It’s unlikely, but I worry.
Mom didn’t remember her grandson’s name. Her brain tried to give him his older brother’s name, but she knew enough to know that wasn’t right. Nevertheless, she couldn’t come up with his name. She recognized him, though, so that’s something. He was really good with her, not at all offended that she didn’t remember his name, and talked to her as if she is the way she always was. He’s a good kid.
She has trouble remembering that there’s a pandemic going on. We’ll drive by closed restaurants and empty parking lots and she’ll wonder where everyone is. I have to tell her again that everything is closed or is carryout/delivery only. Every time I tell her, she learns for the first time that the schools are closed for the rest of the year. Every evening she asks what we’re doing the next day. Every day I tell her, self-isolating and social distancing.
We’ve had some fun games of Go Fish. Last night she had me laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. For real. When she got up to go to the bathroom I had to stand up, walk around, and think about my dog dying in order to stop laughing and catch my breath. One afternoon we put together a Lego frog. She had pictorial instructions that came with the Legos but she couldn’t follow them once they got a bit complicated. Spatial relationships take some time, but she can do them. When we played Kings in the Corner with my nephew and his girlfriend, my nephew had to help her figure out which cards to play.
Sometimes I think she’s declining fast. Sometimes I think she’s doing well. I need to update here more often so I can track it better.
We’ve been put on lock-down by order of the governor. We’ll know by the end of that if I let the virus in with my nephew and his girlfriend. So far we’re doing well, have everything we need, and are self-isolating with all the creature comforts. I hope everyone is, though I know they’re not. If you can lend a hand to a neighbor, please do. If you can help others, try to do that, too. Mostly, I hope you’re self-isolating and social-distancing so we can get life back to normal. Wishing the world health, happiness, wellness, and good riddance to this vile virus.

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