January 4, 2020

We’ve had a good few days. It began to seem like the cranberry capsules were doing her a world of good. She was clear-headed, retained some memories, didn’t sundown. I knew/know better than to draw a cause and effect conclusion between the cranberry capsules and the clearer days– I mean, we’re not exactly doing a double blind, peer reviewed, replicable study here, are we?– but it did seem as if the cranberry was preventing UTIs, and no UTIs meant relief from dementia symptoms.
Tonight she asked if we were the only ones here.
Not a damning question, but it’s definitely a dementia question.
The last two weeks I’ve been refilling her pill boxes. She hates doing it but every time in the past I’d offered to do it for her she said no. I think she thinks I do too much for her already and she feels guilty asking me to do one more thing. The last two times I did it without asking. The first time she said she didn’t remember she did it, and I didn’t say I did. I just let it be and distracted her. No need to cause a commotion. The second time she asked if I’d done it for her and I ‘fessed up. She was surprised and happy. She hadn’t minded me taking over the chore as much as I thought she would. I’ll keep doing it because it takes me probably less than ten minutes. It takes her over an hour– and I have to go back through and make sure she did it right, which she usually hasn’t.
I’m thinking of doing a podcast. A neighbor is caregiver for her mother with Multiple Sclerosis and I think we could do the podcast together. It would be a broad caregiving podcast rather than only focusing on dementia– obviously. But there are huge ways all caregiving overlaps and the disease only makes the details different. I don’t need another thing to do, but I feel like I need this. I need some social time with a friend– of which I get none. And I feel like I need to do something other than live in my own little world of caregiving. I’ll talk to her about it soon.
Know what? I never wished those of you reading this a happy new year. Happy new year. I hope 2020 is a healthy, happy year full of things to be grateful for. Thank you for popping by to check in on me and my mom.

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