January 28, 2020

After mom’s doctor appointment we went to the hospital to see her friend in ICU as the hospital is across the street from the doctor’s office. We learned that the ventilator will be removed and all life-saving measures will be stopped tonight. Mom cried, and said goodbye to her friend.
This is is going to sound cold but it’s not. By the time we left the hospital mom had forgotten all about her friend we just saw and said goodbye to.
Tonight, on a break from work, mom asked me where everyone was. “At home, I guess,” I said.
She said, “But what about _____?”
“I’m right here,” I said.
She made up an excuse for why she was confused, but the fact is, she forgot who I was. Plain and simple. I don’t think this is related to the difficult afternoon seeing her friend for the last time. I think she just forgot. Because she has dementia.
To be honest, I thought of the three of them, my mom and her two friends, I thought my mom would go first. Now it’s looking like she’ll be the third of the three. Weird. And really sad. I’m grateful mom had such good friends for so many decades. I’ll miss those ladies, and in a way I already do.

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