February 8, 2020

She’s been pretty good lately. She forgets that I live here too. We’ve been sorting through her belongings, cleaning out her closets, and she’ll give me something and say, “you take it home.” Then I have to tell her that I live here, too. She laughs and says she doesn’t know why she doesn’t remember.
Her brother called the other day to tell her he’d found her friend’s obituary online. I hadn’t even thought to look. Since then we’ve talked about her (Mom’s) obit quite a lot. I know when she graduated high school and college. We worked out how to address her work history. She reiterated something she’d told me years ago which was that she wants to be cremated and buried next to her parents. I have to call and make sure there’s room, but I’m almost certain she told me there was one space left and that she wanted it. She wants to talk to the church about having her funeral there. I’m grateful she’s open to discussing these things. It would be hard to not know your loved one’s wishes, then have to figure all this stuff out when you’re in the depths of grief.
I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts with caregivers to dementia sufferers. One woman was apparently told that with Hospice they can tell you exactly what’s happening and what the next stage will be and when. But with dementia there’s no way of knowing because every situation is different. It’s a terrifying aspect of this disease. I’ve also heard about the MIND diet, which is evidently fairly new. It’s designed to slow the progression of dementia, and may even prevent onset altogether. I did some research and will implement a variation of that diet. Mom and I both have high blood pressure so should be on the DASH diet, but she has diabetes and she shouldn’t have carbs. All diets include whole grains, which are poison to diabetics. Oats have the fewest carbs so we may have those once in a while. Buckwheat too, as it’s gluten free (something my digestion system appreciates). But we’ll not be perfect in our diet and we both believe that food is too good not to enjoy and why make life any more miserable than it is by depriving yourself of good food. So we’ll eat! But probably more along the lines of a DASH-MIND diet way more often than not. Because after all, vegetables are delicious. (Although I can’t quite convince mom of that.)

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