December 22, 2019

Mom helped with cookies today. She did a good job.
She’s confused about Christmas gifts and who she has to buy for. It’s all been taken care of but she doesn’t seem to understand that. She calls me by name, like she’s talking about me not to me. I don’t know if she knows who I am or not. She complains about being confused and not being able to focus. I tell her we’re in this together and I’ll help her as best I can. It’s all I can tell her. I feel so helpless.
I’ve discovered a podcast called Caregiver Storyteller: Personal stories about dementia caregiving. It’s defunct now and only released 17 episodes, but it’s fantastic. Much of what is talked about has been talked about in the online support group but it’s more reassuring somehow to hear it in this context. I think it’s just that I’m getting the same info from a second source; it’s somehow more valid now, or something. I don’t know. Whatever, it’s a great podcast and I want to listen to a million of them. I’ll be sad when I’ve listened to them all.

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