December 20, 2019

Today after work we went to lunch and to a department store so I could pick up a Christmas gift for her. She did the usual asking a half dozen times where we were going and what we were doing, and another half dozen times asking what day it was. So, not as clear a day as yesterday. The backyard shed needs roofed and she’s been in touch with a contractor about it. She’s asked me to take over the scheduling of that project but keeps bringing it up because she’s forgotten that she asked me to do it. And she asked me again to take over her finances, because she forgot she already asked me to do that. I’ve decided to have her talk to her financial advisor about it. I want him to know the request has come from her in case later on down the road she claims I’ve taken over without her permission or she starts accusing me of stealing from her– that is apparently a common occurrence.
We tend to have the same conversations over and over again… and sometimes I think it’s not so much that she’s forgotten but that we have nothing to talk about. I’ve heard others comment that they see an elderly couple in a restaurant and they don’t speak to one another the whole meal and that it’s just such a sad sight to see. And you know what I think? I think that when you spend all your time together day in and day out you run out of things to talk about. The elderly have small worlds with minimal activity anyway (compared to anyone else) and then to have to spend all day with someone trying to come up with new topics to discuss… well, it’s impossible. So it’s not sad. Not really. Not in the way people mean. It’s just that when you have nothing new to talk about because you spend all your time together, you have nothing to talk about. That’s mom and I. When we’re not sleeping or I’m not working we’re together all the time. We have very few common interests. We have nothing to talk about. And that’s not as sad as it seems to those that don’t understand.

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